Long ago, I learned speed-eating to fit junior high yearbook editing into my lunch break. My first two dates with my wife featured the Bonanza Steakhouse buffet. I性视界传媒檝e gone 性视界传媒減lague of locusts性视界传媒 on deviled eggs and pimento cheese sandwiches at countless church potluck dinners.
So I couldn性视界传媒檛 just sit on my buns and pass up writing about Nathan性视界传媒檚 Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest (and the world of competitive eating in general).
Every July 4, ESPN makes a coast-to-coast event of the Coney Island gastronomic tradition.
If you remember GM性视界传媒檚 1974 jingle 性视界传媒淏aseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet,性视界传媒 you性视界传媒檒l understand the perfect patriotic timing of the contest.
The televised contest goes beyond stirring up warm, fuzzy feelings for the Founding Fathers. It also shows how far our species has progressed from caveman days. We性视界传媒檝e advanced from hunter-gatherers to a gorger-voyeur society. And we性视界传媒檒l have the best of both worlds when scientists start cranking out those 100 percent wooly-mammoth frankfurters!
You might wonder why anyone gets into the crazy world of competitive eating. (And it性视界传媒檚 not for everyone. Math whizzes tend to freak out when their mind wanders to 性视界传媒渪 parts of permissible insect parts per million times 50-plus wieners性视界传媒π允咏绱綕) It might be a quest for the 性视界传媒渃ool性视界传媒 factor, the allure of an offbeat challenge or the sharing of a genuine talent.
Or it can be the result of years of indoctrination by Grandma. (性视界传媒淵ou性视界传媒檙e skin and bones! Eat! Eat!性视界传媒) Thank goodness other grandmotherly advice has enjoyed less impact, or we性视界传媒檇 have Nathan性视界传媒檚 Famous International You性视界传媒檙e So Handsome You性视界传媒檒l Be Beating the Girls Off With a Stick Someday Contest.
Beyond the world of Nathan性视界传媒檚 and less well-known destinations on the competitive circuit are the one-off opportunities for amateurs at small-town fairs and festivals. It性视界传媒檚 good, clean fun when local lawyers, teachers and insurance agents race against each other to chow down on pie or some other homemade delicacy.
Some people view competitive eating with bemusement and passing interest. Some are rabid fans. And others relish lecturing about risks such as aspiration, perforation of the stomach and chronic indigestion.
Let性视界传媒檚 not forget the crusaders who preach that glamorizing gluttony can be a bad influence on impressionable youngsters. Listen, the bike-crashing kids who idolized Evel Knievel back in the Seventies turned out just fine 性视界传媒 or at least they will if they win $10,000 and the Mustard Belt and can finally finish paying off their medical bills.
Whatever your stance on the competitive-eating spectrum, I hope you have a happy Independence Day. Me? I性视界传媒檒l be putting on my old junior high pants the same as everyone else 性视界传媒 one can of WD-40 (and one crowbar) at a time. Sigh.
