Today, January 15th, is our 42nd wedding anniversary. I am remembering with tears and thanksgiving the love and times Byron and I shared. Living life with him was nothing short of a grand adventure. I am also remembering how he showed his children, and all of us, the way to live and die with courage, dignity and strength. He never became bitter or wavered in his faith, and he remained thankful for all the blessings God had given him to the very end.
If I had to pick one word to describe Byron, it would be joie de vivre.
He loved life and people. He was funny, exuberant and multi-talented: a musician, singer, songwriter, artist, entertainer ... you name it. He was also one of the kindest and smartest people I have ever known. The remarkable thing is, at the same time, he was humble. He considered his gifts as just that 性视界传媒 gifts. They were his way to give to others and make a difference in the quality of their day. He continued to express this same desire to contribute throughout the course of the disease, and by grace, was able to do just that.
Byron was a wonderful dad to our two daughters, and an awesome grandfather to our four grandsons. I am sad that our grandsons weren性视界传媒檛 able to have him around longer, and that he won性视界传媒檛 be able to watch them grow up. They loved playing and being silly with their G-Daddy. I am sad for our daughters, too.
They loved their dad so much, and went to him for advice throughout their growing-up years as well as in adulthood. Byron was practical and good at encouraging and advising them without being judgmental. He could explain options and help them sort through their feelings without telling them what to do. He showered them with unconditional love.
In short, Byron lived his life well. He dealt with Alzheimer性视界传媒檚 as he had dealt with everything in life. In every situation, good or bad, he was always able to reframe it with humor, and offer it to those around him as a gift. He didn性视界传媒檛 put his faith in his circumstances, but in God. He always looked for the higher purpose 性视界传媒 the greater good. He knew his life wasn性视界传媒檛 really about him, it was about what God could do through him to bless and encourage others. The disease did not conquer his spirit. With God性视界传媒檚 strength he walked bravely through the fire of Alzheimer性视界传媒檚, and his journey can serve as a source of inspiration for us all.
Below are some of Byron性视界传媒檚 thoughts I recorded in 2013, about two years after he was diagnosed. I had asked him if he would share what living with Alzheimer性视界传媒檚 was like for him and any advice he wanted to pass along for the benefit of his children as well as others. (He also included his thoughts about a drug trial he had been part of previously.) May God give us this same courage, grace and generosity of spirit in the midst of whatever challenges we are facing now or in the future.
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*I性视界传媒檓 glad I participated in the trial because I felt I was making a contribution.
I was part of something that was going to make a difference and mean a lot to many people I性视界传媒檒l never meet. Every one of the drug trials are designed to see what性视界传媒檚 out there. I know if something is finished it could be for a variety of reasons, none of which is within my control.
I性视界传媒檝e learned over and over if you do things for yourself, just to benefit yourself, it性视界传媒檚 kind of an empty thing to do. Yes, you may get something, but are you helping somebody else too? There have been so many people who have helped me that I have become real conscious of giving. If there性视界传媒檚 anything I have or someone else sees that I have to give which could be of benefit, whether it is drug trials or playing the guitar, I性视界传媒檓 willing to consider it.
We all have something we can do to help other people. We may think there性视界传媒檚 not any real value in it, but its value is when it性视界传媒檚 put into effect. It can be something as simple as sending someone a thank you note for a kindness they性视界传媒檝e done. We性视界传媒檙e not only told to help each other, it性视界传媒檚 Scripture and common sense as well.
Alzheimer性视界传媒檚 does get your attention and prods you to start thinking about doing things that will not only benefit yourself, but others you know and those you may never know. There are too many people trying to look for things to take rather than to give, and a philosophy like that never leaves you satisfied.
We don性视界传媒檛 live out here all by ourselves. There性视界传媒檚 a lot of wisdom in 性视界传媒減aying it forward.性视界传媒 You don性视界传媒檛 do something to make yourself feel better; you do it because someone has done something for you. You know how it feels to receive, and we性视界传媒檙e called to give back. I have been blessed to know people who have given me opportunities to give back.
I wish the Alzheimer性视界传媒檚 wasn性视界传媒檛 there, but wishing about something or complaining about it and keeping a bad attitude over something you have no control over is a useless thing. It burns your energy and your attention as well as your feeling for your fellow man. A negative attitude doesn性视界传媒檛 get you anywhere other than where you already are. I性视界传媒檇 like to contribute instead of complain and feel sorry for myself.
We all still have something, even if something has been taken away from us. I can still walk, I can still breathe, I can still help someone. I can still have faith and hope; I won性视界传媒檛 see the blessings if I性视界传媒檓 not looking for them. Maybe the greatest blessing of all is being an example for my children and grandchildren about how to live and persevere.
Everything I thought I性视界传媒檇 lost I性视界传媒檝e found through the people who have helped me.
(*Byron性视界传媒檚 words were originally published .)
