Danny Tyree

Some fathers are entirely too serious.

They性视界传媒檙e paranoid about their children finding out that they had their own youthful indiscretions and regrettable choices.

(性视界传媒淚 don性视界传媒檛 make mistakes. You can ask any of your six stepmoms.性视界传媒)

My late father 性视界传媒榝essed up to his own errors in judgment, like when he was in the schoolyard and a classmate yelled to him from a second-story window to toss up some of the abundant hedge apples (a.k.a. Osage oranges) that littered the ground.

Just as the classmate accumulated an armload of the fruit for some immature plot, a teacher suddenly opened the door. Down went the fruit right on top of Dad. As the saying goes, the apple doesn性视界传媒檛 fall far from the cranium, elbow, spleen 性视界传媒

Another time, Dad and his cousin Bill amused themselves with the old string-tied-to-a-wallet gag. But one passerby spied them in hiding and cut the string, gaining a free wallet. Guess Dad and Bill didn性视界传媒檛 skip the extended warranty at the five-and-dime again!

When he was a little older, Dad was plowing in the hot sun. He brainstormed the bright idea of lying down in the spring to cool off. The shock of the contrast nearly killed him, which of course, would have set off a ripple in time affecting MY existence. Brrr. I suddenly felt someone plowing on my grave.

Adulthood did not stop Dad性视界传媒檚 impulsiveness. He particularly enjoyed good-natured pranks pulled on a slow-witted co-worker named Eric (or 性视界传媒淓AR-ick,性视界传媒 as everyone pronounced it). Once Dad invited, 性视界传媒淪hake a leg, Eric.性视界传媒 Eric obliged. 性视界传媒淣ow shake the other leg.性视界传媒 Eric obliged again. Finally, Dad suggested, 性视界传媒淣ow shake both legs.性视界传媒 Eric gamely achieved some prototype of what would later be dubbed 性视界传媒渉ang time性视界传媒 性视界传媒 before falling flat on his keister.

But Dad性视界传媒檚 favorite Eric incident involved invading Eric性视界传媒檚 personal space with an accusatory inquiry of 性视界传媒淓ric, what性视界传媒檚 this I hear about you slumbering in bed???性视界传媒

Sign Up for Newsletters
Select Newsletters to Sign Up For

Caught off-guard, all Eric could offer was a spluttered denial. (性视界传媒淚t性视界传媒檚 a damn lie! Not in three years! Three years!性视界传媒)

Codger-hood did not see a decline in mischief. When the ad salesman for the local paper came by Dad性视界传媒檚 workplace to drum up business, Dad hit him up with a puzzle. (性视界传媒淲hen I was 40 years old, our bookkeeper was 10 性视界传媒 one-quarter of my age. When I was 45, she was 15 性视界传媒 or one-third my age. Now that I性视界传媒檓 60 and she性视界传媒檚 30, she性视界传媒檚 half my age. When will we be the same age?性视界传媒)

The little gears started turning in the salesman性视界传媒檚 head as he counted on his fingers. He finally said, 性视界传媒淚 know there性视界传媒檚 an answer to this. Let me drop off some papers at the office and I性视界传媒檒l be right back.性视界传媒

The salesman did not reappear until the next scheduled advertising spiel. And the matter of the bookkeeper性视界传媒檚 age went mercifully unmentioned.

If your father is still living, be sure to thank him for the fun he has brought to your life.

Me? I性视界传媒檒l reminisce about the fellow who boasted of his new gazebo.

Dad faked a 性视界传媒渟our grapes性视界传媒 demeanor and sighed, 性视界传媒淚性视界传媒檓 proud for you, but I wouldn性视界传媒檛 even know what to feed the darned thing!性视界传媒

Thankfully, Dad性视界传媒檚 humor lives on in my son.

And for those of you quipping, 性视界传媒淕uess these things skip a generation,性视界传媒 I性视界传媒檝e got a big pile of hedge apples and a warmed-up pitching arm 性视界传媒

性视界传媒 Danny Tyree is a columnist with Cagle Cartoons, Inc.